Sorry about the image quality – the glare was just impossible to get rid of…
My time away from blogging was very purposeful. My family needed all of me in a way that was intense and exhausting. I still struggle with how much to share about that time in our lives. Every once in a while I would share too much with people and I could see by their expressions that I overwhelmed them with what was happening within the walls of our home. When each day was finally over, I either didn’t have the energy to blog or I struggled with what to share. And so I turned to a different form of expression – I painted.
The painting above now hangs in our dining room. It’s a rather large piece (5′ x 5′), but I think it’s a great way to honor our girls homeland as we intertwine our lives. As with most of the things we tackle in our lives, the journey is often more important than the results. This painting took me many months and allowed me a creative way to work through some of issues that seemed too large while I was in the middle of them. The painting gave me distance and a quiet refuge when all the kids were finally asleep.
Now that it’s complete, I see this painting as a symbol of our first year together. The journey as an artist and as a parent had many parallels. There were many many moments when the project seemed too big to complete and I didn’t think I had the skills to do the job. There were moments of indescribable joy that surprised me and gave me hope. There were times when I felt like I wasn’t making any progress. Days I wanted to walk away. Some days it was by sheer force of will that I kept going – I struggled to find desire and motivation. There were moments when I was so entranced by the creation that I couldn’t stop the flow of creativity and emotion. There were days when I “knew” it was all working together in harmony and days when I fretted over what others would think. And then one day I put my brushes aside and realized it was done. It was what it was. There were flaws and things I would have done differently, but it was still beautiful. It was unique. And it was perfect for our family.
I still love that painting. You did a beautiful job!!!
I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to this post. I love the path to healing that you are taking. I have been encouraged by you and your family along our journey. And, just as this painting has a sense of togetherness and beauty, may your family continue to grow and mesh and may you be amazed at what God is doing to bring you together and heal you as a family.